1.2.2 January 1998. Auckland Day.

Fuck, fuckin, jiss holidays, sometimes too long, ay. Like fuck – no one’s gonna say it, actchilly say they want school or shit, cuoz school fukn sux’n shit, but fuck, holidays is jiss like y’know . . . everyday, hook up wivda boys, but fukn – aint got nowhere to go’n ain’t got shit to do – so iss jiss like . . . - Wanna go get some piss? - Wanna go get us a car?- Wanna put five bucks in for a foilie for us? - Fucken, who knows where t’even fahkin score us a foilie from, you dick?! -Then let’s go do some crime then, fuck!  Jiss . . . yeah, fuckn sick of seeing the same fucks everyday, pretty much. See in school, there’s plenty of farlahs that y’don’t always hang out wiv y’know’n – O’course! You doan haft’look f’bitches! They fukn – they oreddy there! KnowhatI’msayn? An’fukn – they know! – They know my fuhckn stael! They know who the fuck we are, they know what the fukn time is – y’know . . . – they be all like . . . like – “ohr – Who dat?” bout us, an’en some liddle junior dick who wanna be me’s gunna go right ahead’n tell’m – cuts down my work rate, sayn? See in school ALL the young ladies know our shit – cuoz weeda fuckin baddest’n ain’t no one fucking wi’dat shit, word? . . . I mean that’s what it’s about, ain’it? Fuck, I could have any junior I wanted, pretty much bro, f’rael . . . Bronx, was orready wiv Jess but. Still reckon she was problee the hottest junior last year. Fuck, that’s what we’d all reckoned, then Any-G – the cunt – jiss starts reckoning her ass was “out of proportion” or some shit, and she wasn’t even as nice as fukn Kelly, or Rachel – who we’d both fucked . . . but yeah there were definately some others he wanted to get into this year, y’know, while he had the chance. Fuckn, Jess’s mate Marie, was pretty nice, ay’n Helen, mmmm, she’s like, classy, y’know. Even Sarah isn’t 2bad’n there could be new senior girls as well! Fuck yeah. See’n in school’n shit, you got the week t’build up t’that shit  - like, when it’s school right, you got the week, fukn talking the talk, mixin’n settin that shit up for on Friday’n Saturday’n shit when everyone’s definitely gonna be drinking, or a party’n everyone knows, or wohdever. Fuck yeah, cruise after lunch on Friday, start drinking, hook-up with everyone, hook-up with the boys t’score a foilie – and save a joint for school on Monday – like, shit’s co-ordinated, knowhatI’msayn? Everyone knows what’s going on, ay. Thas right . . .  Any’d finally shut up f’once’n they crossed the harbour bridge, gazing outta th’car in silence as the angles shifted and standing powerless, the buildings sailed past one another. It was a weirded out buzz. Town was like a dead body ay, no electricity, no power, no heart, no soul ay – jiss fucked up. All y’could hear were these fucked up generators everywhere going – Brrrrrrrroh’n whenever the power went again you’d hear everyone in the shops’n all around you go, like, “Ohhr!” Like – blues, shitty one, whatta shitty one that we live in such a eat-arse country, forgot tp pay the power, like where I used to stay. At night everything was shut mainly’n’t was silent-as, dark’n dead but for the noises, with heaps a’pigs cruising round, patrolling only the wasted youth’n the burnt cunts left. It was a weird buzz, th’whole of town jiss like a whole big back alley, kinda like – system failure I reckon, shut down, goodnight kiwi. Cuoz when there’s nothing there, when what used to be there is gone . . . then fukn dark ways fill the darkness ay . . . pretty outovit ay, buzzy shit . . . Like, fuck, we built us this bad-ass fukn skytower’n now don’t even got the shit t’fuckn make it go’n shit. Jiss sticks up out sittin on it’s own and makes everyone go -  fuck! Like when y’jiss got a wicked new vest or cap or some shit’n y’realise how shitty it makes the rest of your gears look . . . but it’s always there . . . y’know . . . whenever y’cruising’n shit . . .In the weirdness the tape was jiss going - “Is he fockin dead?” What the fock yoo mean “izzy fockn dead?”, gardd?    - fock you think?The nigger layin’ there with his fockn . . . all types of fokn blahrd cummin outtis fockin . . .- “izzy – izzy – izzy dead?”- yoh wuhssup gard. iss the gard, gard. wurdisbarn, yoh, wassup, i’m ready to fokn lay . . – i’m ready to get busy, yo, wuhssup . . .wassup, yoh . . .-Are we out or what?Iss the gard, gard. Fock that . . .Are we out . . . ?    -  a problem, man? . . . -Who took the tape . . . ? Ohr fuckn again’n again, fuckn played out orreddy! fuckin sick of it! Jiss reminds me  of all them shitty parties we been to, puke’n cigarette butts on the concrete floor, tagging on the walls, faces in the dark, smashing over some smart cunts, spewing up, fucking some fat bitch in the bush out th’backyard, pigs show up, bottles start flying, cunts is getting dragged off jiss like – yoh jiss fuck that buzz – “Thuggie bro – gotta cue that shit, bro,” I went, reaching out.“FUARKN’ WOTTAFUCKSARP!” Screeched Any. “We love that shit, dog! – It’sa fuckn Sevent Chamber, bro! – Let it fuckn be, sarn!” Ohr fukn, shit’s played out orredy! Fuckn dicks! How we gunna fukn walk int’school tomorrow like we the ones with fukn clout, we the ma’fuckers holdin’t down’n shit when we listenin t’played out old shit’n ain’t even got a fuckin’ hook-up? Or, fukn – fukn . . . shit?  

Evil Robot Author Bio + Soundtrack tracklisting

BIOGRAPHY Matthew Oliver Turner-Horide has lived in Grey Lynn most his life, where he also produces and plays out funky Drum’n Bass under the name Romantech with the Data:Bass Network of which he is a co-founder.  His other interests include falling in love with women, collecting and mixing vinyl records, and isolating the positive effects of transcendental drug use. He is a lapsed socialist, eats fish occasionally, and loves Vegemite table spread, Whittaker’s chocolate and late 80’s/early 90’s British alternative rock, known as “Indie”. He has been described as emotionally immature, evasive, fickle, neurotically fatigued, worrying, easily annoyed, generally dissatisfied, unsteady, demanding, indolent, obstructive, shy, withdrawing, negative, mistrusting, self-involved, insecure, anxious, depressed, brooding, and lacking in frustration tolerance.  EVIL ROBOT THE CD: A 90’s buzz:Grunge, Hip-Hop, Drum’n Bass, House & more Featuring: Nirvana, Wu-Tang Clan, Massive Attack, Goldie, Daft Punk, Radiohead, Outkast, Marilyn Manson and more . . .  1991 – Nirvana “Smells Like Teen Spirit” 1993 – Wu-Tang Clan “The Seventh Chamber”* 1993 – Massive Attack feat. Tricky “Karma Coma”*1993 – Tool “Sober”1994 – Goldie presents Metalheadz “Inner City Life”*1996 – Daft punk “Around the world”*1997 – DLT feat. Che Fu “Chains”1997 – Doc Scott “Shadowboxing” (remix)*1997 – Sommerset “Sommerset”1997 – Jay-Z feat Mary J. Blige “The Hustle” (D’n B remix)*  1997 – Radiohead “No Surprises”1998 – Outkast “Spottieottieliedopalicious”*1998 – Armand Van Helden “You don’t know me”1998 – Marilyn Manson “I don’t like the drugs(but the drugs like me)”*1998 – Asian Dub Foundation ft. Navigator “Culture Move” 1998 – Gangstarr “Moment of truth”*1999 – Art of Trance “Madagascar”*

1999 – Concord Dawn “Styx”*