1.0 – January. Auckland Day. 1.1
Hey – fuck! where’ve you been?! How’s things with you? How’s your New Year’s? Fuck yeah, town always sucks, we jiss wanted t’get away from that buzz ay, fuckin – jiss missioned it at the last minute down to the Gathering ay, like, fuck bro – it was jiss fuckn like, such a fahkin. Like . . . jiss such a wicked mission, ay . . . hooked up with fuckn Ants’n Tyrone’n that, fuckn heapsa people from up here . . . Simon, Pat – an’Benny! . . . fuck, y’gotta hear his story about the bike! Fuckn jiss too loose ay bro . . . But yeah, nah, fuck you should’ve been in the fuckn Dub tent though, honnisly, it jiss went off. Spliffs were jiss totally being handed roun, with th’fat bass’n shit, totally, fuckn choice buzz, ay . . . – But mostly pretty chilled but, most’a the time for us ay, like, mellow’n shit, like, chilling out’n shit, y’know? Fuck, on the last day but – man, the place was jist fukn on the meanest come down ay – It was jiss like, everyone, jiss like fuckn, burnt as fuck ay. Totally jiss like, fuckn, cut a track bro, outta there, cuz . . . So what’s been happening in town? Insane this fukn power cut shit, ay? No fucken, fukn, electricity in town man – I mean how fucked up is that? Shitty ay, fucken third world, I reckon, ay . . . Fuckn like ghettoisation processes, ay, fuckin, globalisation’n shit, I reckon . . . yeah – fuckn, since I got back fuckn, fully tryna look for some smoke ay! It’s fuckn dry-as, ay? You don’t have any hook-ups at the moment d’you? Seen them Co-offender boys round? Fuckn had shit all last time I saw’m ay – as usual, fuckn bullshit cunts, ay’n fuck, Any’s always like, to me like – “Fuck bro, Co-Offenderz is like fukn blazing up constantly, bro, we wake up to three fully. Packed. Bucket bongs every. Farken. Morning. Bro.” Fuckin such a dick, ay man. So what’ve you been up to anyway? Any parties? . . . fukn – crazy shit! See Any saying shit t’fukn all Junior’n his boys on th’last day of school? Mad! I reckoned some fukn heavy shit was gonna go down ay – fukn, Any’n Thuggie’n that getting all liqoured-as’n shit before prizegiving’n fukn – Hart’s like – Hart doesn’t even give a fuck . . . like, what’s he gonna do on the last day? Y’know Hart’s gonna be deputy again this year? Fuckn, sweet ay, so much more cruisier than fuckin Givens, ay bro – I reckon. Y’know my dad used to be on like a protest or some shit with him, like hard out against the pigs’n all these mad rugby-head cunts who’re tryna smash them over? Outovit, ay? But yeah – them Co-offender boys - Act all like they don’t give a fuck’n shit, but Any-G’n 2Bronx – pussies I reckon, when it comes down to it. I mean when was the last time you saw them come hard? Fuck . . . it’s jiss I mean fuck – Any’s gonna haft’get a smack one day bro, it’s fukn, it’s jiss . . . y’know, he’s jist a fukn Ponsonby boy bro, but the dude fully thinks he’s black’n he’s bad! . . . should fuckn look inna fuckn mirror f’once I reckon . . . But y’know Sarah? Do you remember that guy who used to be in Seventh Form, um, Ollie, I think . . . little dude, friends with Sarah’s sister, in her year? He’s dealing now, bro, Sarah gets the mean deals off him bro, primo fiddies’n shit, but she reckons he’ll only go through her - but bro! My cousins getting me the mean ounces from up Colville when the season comes. I’ll hook you up bro, I’ll blow you out so fuckn wickedly . . . You’ll just be sitting there, or like – nah, we’ll cruise’t at lunch time t’the spot by the lake – goin like fukn – “eeauurgghh!” like that, jiss fuckin, stoned as fuck pretty much, ay . . . Probly fukn fall over the rail into the lake or some shit bro, like totally, I’m gonna get you so that wastedly outovit, bro . . . So where’r you going now? Sweet as, cool-cool. Ohr fuck bro . . . you don’t have a ciggie do you? Wanna go halves?- Yeah so . . . fukn, anyway . . . What was I saying?
